can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
