do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
