you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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