At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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