Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
