We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
