return my video game
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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