Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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