My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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