You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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