Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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