if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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