I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
