i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
