WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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