So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
