Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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