i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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