Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
