Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
