you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
