how can u be prego again
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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