that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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