Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
