Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just had sex on a roof
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
