Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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