Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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