Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
