It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
