worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
