becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
