i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
