Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
