i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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