Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize