I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
