apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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