thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize