dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
