question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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