I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize