I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
