We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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