So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
