everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
