perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
