Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize