What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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