We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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