question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
