On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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