Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
