shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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