we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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