So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
