So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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