This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
