I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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