Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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