nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
