Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize