Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
