I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
