So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
