Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We need to get me chipped asap
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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