When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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