wake up i wanna do it froggy style
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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