i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
