Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
