Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
