My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
